English Jokes

1. Mother And Bank
Every time when a child asked his mother for money, she would say, “What do you think I am? A Bank?”
So the child went to ask for money in a bank. The clerk said to him, “What do you think I am? Your Mother?”

2. Couldn’t Win
Mrs. Biggs: Don’t you dare tell me, Doctor, that I am overweight?
Doctor: Then, according to my height and weight chart, you are four inches too short.

3. Irrelevant Answer
Mother: I left two pieces of cakes in the cupboard last night and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?
Child: I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other one.

4. Optimist
“How many fish have you caught?” asked someone, seeing an old villager fishing on the bank of a stream.
“Well, sir,” replied the old fisherman thoughtfully, “If I catch this one I’m after, and two more, I’ll have three.”

5. Punctuations
A college English professor wrote the words “Woman without her man is a savage” on the blackboard, and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
He found the men looked at it one way, and the girls another.
The males wrote, “Woman, without her man, is savage!”
The females wrote, “Woman! Without her, man is savage!”

by yanfei | 2006-02-06 17:50
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